4 Things I Learnt About Being Yourself (and Letting Others Be Themselves)

1. No matter what people say about you, or what you say about them, it is just an opinion. No matter how much evidence there may be to support the label, it is still an opinion and is not true. The media brand celebrities with labels, it’s the journalists opinion, not hard fact. Lady Gaga is constantly scrutinized and labelled, she once said that what is said is still just and opinion and she won’t go out of her way to change what they say, because she is who she is.
2. You can’t be forced into or have something forced upon you. If you don’t like something, you don’t like it, you can’t force people to see the world your way, and no matter how much or how little you think of something it is still what you think and can’t be forced on someone as cold hard fact.
3. Don’t go out of your way to change, you are perfect in your own way. If people can’t stand it, it’s not because you’re wrong, it’s because they’re not good enough to understand you, but there’s always someone out there who will.
4. YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE. NOTHING CAN GET IN YOUR WAY. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU CAN DO IT. DO NOT EVER GIVE UP.

Handing Over The Reins

   “This is my life, I will control it and do with it what I want”

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our everyday lives, in trying to get everything done and fitting everything in we can’t relax and let go for even a minute. I am a natural control freak, a workaholic who can’t twitch off, and I was completely in control in control of my life, until I met a guy. The details are irrelevant, but what is relevant is that we were going somewhere, and I had no control. It was his call to either bring us together or let it run its course. But the thing that surprised me the most, was how nice it was to not be in control. It was almost liberating to hand over the reins and let someone else decide. Not because I didn’t want us to happen – I really did -, just because that’s the way it happened. Rather than fighting for results and constantly worrying what was going, I just let him decide.

Just to step back and ride with it was a whole new experience, and one I would recommended. Just to be able to say “OK, you’re in control” is hard enough if you’re of the same control freak mindset as me, and it may seem selfish and mean to lump all the responsibility and stress on some one else, but he was more than capable of handling it, as long as you put the reins in the hands of someone who can cope, you’ll be fine. In fact, you’ll be more than fine, you’ll be freed. You as the control freak will get liberation and some rest as well as a new experience and the other person will get experience and self-confidence. But remember, just because you hand over the reins doesn’t mean you can just step back and not pay attention, you need to keep a watchful eye on what is going on with the situation, to make sure it’s all working out as it should, but don’t stare, or you’ll snatch back control and neither of you will benefit.

It’s a two person coalition and a delicate balance of control and watching. The results will come, just take time to let them happen and it’s all the sweeter when they do.

You just have to trust.

“To approach the stranger is to invite the unexpected, release a new force, let the genie out of the bottle. It is to start a new train of events that is beyond your control…” ~T.S. Eliot~

“Control is never achieved when sought after directly. It is the surprising outcome of letting go.”~James Arthur Ray~

“The closest to being in control we will ever be is in that moment that we realize we’re not.” ~Brian Kessler~

The Line cont.

Some images I couldn’t add into the post last time

The Line

As a species, we love our differences, we love to feel different and be told we’re special and unique, so why when someone takes it that one step further and lets their soul flow out into their physical style do we criticize? Suddenly to be unique, to be special is not so good, where is the line and why is it there? Why should someone who is proud of their differences be rejected for it? Surely we should encourage them and look up to them?

We love to criticize the system, to say how things should be, to voice our opinion. But when some one stands up against the machine, so we stand up as well. No. Why? Why is it suddenly so bad and stupid, why do we suddenly become better than them for remaining quiet? One again…where is the line and why is it there?

So you decide where the line is for you, and whether our going to leave it, toe it or cross it. You never know…maybe the grass is greener on the other side.

You laugh because I am different, I laugh because you are all the same.