Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around.

This quote is from the film Love Actually, a film that really shows the true nature of love, not lust, not desire, but love in all it’s entirety.

Sometimes we can feel like we’ll never find love, we’ll always be alone. Maybe love triangles always leave you on the outside, people only want to be your ‘mate’ or you just can’t find that special ‘one’. As time marches on and the world around us changes it can feel like true love is just a lie and with divorce rates rising, love seems pretty much a fading dream, like something you can’t remember but wish you could. But society says a lot, and not all of it is true. Just because you aren’t tied down to Mr or Mrs Perfect, doesn’t mean you’ll never find that special someone, to say love is non-existent is like losing a limb. Everyone dreams of love at some point.

Believe me, love is out there for you.

I’m not going to tell you a step by step guide on how to get that special someone, but believe me it’s out there, you’ve just got to find it. One piece of advice for you is this: never settle for less than the best. If no one around you is catching your eye, it’s not because your unworthy of love, or because your setting your sights too high, it’s because no one around you is good enough for you. In the chorus of her new song F*cking Perfect, P!nk sings:

Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than f*ckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing
You’re f*ckin’ perfect to me!

Take her love story for example, she dated teachers and lived a life of drugs a rock and roll, then she settled down with the motor biker Carey Hart, split up two years later as it was getting in the way of their careers, and now their back together, they’ve bought their first house together and are expecting their first child. Love may not follow a pattern, but love is unique to every couple, what happens between one couple probably won’t  happen to you, because if it did, it wouldn’t be special and unique would it?

“True love only happens in stories”-then how did it arise? For it to be written it must have happened to someone, and yes many couples do get divorced these days, but what the stats don’t show is how many of those couples move on to new partners, re-marry and stay with them forever, or like in P!nk’s case, how many get back together again. Statistics are very narrow and only show what is relevant to the article, or research, not what else happens.

Love can and will hurt, but the things that are hard are worth fighting for. If it was easy, what would be the point of even trying? Part of being with that special someone is teaming together, working as a team, not two separate individuals. Christian wedding ceremonies talk about ‘two becoming one flesh’, and this is pretty much what should happen between two people, yes, you are still your own separate identities, but you are also cut from the same cloth, two pieces of the same puzzle, and nothing in the world is going to change that. 

On the comment sections YouTube, under the part 1,2,3,4 etc of Love Actually and the soundtrack videos, people were encouraging each other, helping each other and sharing love quotes, even wishing each other – people they don’t even know – the best of luck with love and that their lives would be full of  love. The Greeks split love into different sections, and it is important to remember them all:

Agape:  a love deeper than eros

Eros: sexual love.

Philía: Love between friends and for your neighbor

Storgē: Love between family.

Without all of these you cannot be truly happy, you need your partner and to love them against all odds, you need the sexual love, you need friends there for you and to share life with, after all, friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and our real family, yes, they are embarrassing and we might not always get on, but they are our rock.

Penultimately, I once saw a speaker saying how we need three things in love. We need friendship with our partner so you get on, you muck around and have a laugh sharing happiness together, we need commitment to each other, to know one of us is not going to go running off behind the others back, love is built on trust, and without it there can be no love. Finally there is sex, this is the part of love that is most covered in the news, but it is vital to a relationship, because it is as close as two people can ever get. Love needs all three of these things, of course don’t feel pressured into having sex with everyone you fancy or date to try to create a stable relationship (I personally have a purity ring, but that’s just me and I think no less of anyone that does have sex before marriage – it’s your own choice), but without this balance a relationship will not feel as stable as it should.

So over all, here is the final few statements to take with you into the world:

1) Love does exist and so does true love – you just have to look for it

2) You  are perfect, and patience really is a virtue, there is someone for everyone, and that someone will not want you any less than what you are, if no one seems right for you, it’s because you’re too good for them, not vise versa.

3)Don’t expect love to happen the same way twice

4) It will be hard but it’s well worth the fight

5) Never forget family and brotherly love, they are just as important

and finally:

6) Make sure your relationship is balanced and remember you are two of the same flesh

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” ~Paulo Coelho~

“Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World” ~Paulo Coelho~

And finally, my personal favourite love song: