Recently I had to let go. I didn’t want to but i had to. When you find yourself lying on the floor, tears falling when they’ve never fell before, you know it’s time to let go of what’s hurting you.

Without going into too much detail I ended up in a love triangle and ended up being  on  furthest edge. Two and a half months of happiness and fun followed by three weeks of living hell. Things get to a point when you have to ask yourself whether you keep going and see this storm out to the end, or quit before you fall. I suffer from mental illnesses and for the sake of my health I backed out.

But I still loved him.

And i knew it. I knew it every time I looked at him, every time I found my thoughts wandering towards him, and every time I heard his voice.

So this is how I let go as at some point we will all have to let something go, and with no help for me, this is my help to you, that it might make it a little easier.

Before letting go, you must make the decision to let go. This is not easy. It is not simply deciding to let go as by deciding to hold on you face more pain, and I salute your bravery if you do, but if you decide to let go it will hurt, it will not hurt in the same way, but the pain will be probably equal. Trying to cover the truth will not help so this is the plain truth of the facts. Until you let go, you cannot begin to understand the anguish it takes, as you try to move on, but find yourself holding on to that last shred of hope.

My first thing is to cry, let it out. Keeping things locked up doesn’t help, modern society says we should keep our emotions locked up and keep everything very private, but I say to ignore this, let people know you are hurting as someone may have that golden bit of advice, and it makes things easier to let things out as bottling them up just builds them up and begins to drive you over the edge. The second is to find some form of release, mine was music as I could focus on the lyrics and dull my mind to stop it thinking, this helps as it helps to break the habit you will probably end up with of thinking over the problem, which just makes it worse as it begins to occupy your every waking moment. Thirdly, that small glint of hope in your heart, those embers of the past, blow them out. It won’t be easy to simply drop the past and move on, but the quicker you do, the quicker your healing can progress and the less you will hurt. I may take weeks to finally extinguish it, but let it go, you can’t let go of everything but the thing that holds you to them, you need to let all hope slip away, or chip away at it day by day. Fifth, take each day as it comes. Don’t say to yourself ‘I will start again today’ or ‘By the end of this week I will be over you’, because you won’t. You can’t start again when you not over the problem, it’s like trying to find an answer when you haven’t finished the question, and everything you leave unfinished will keep coming back until you sort it out.

Finally, if you find some days you just can’t keep up to your normal speed, don’t feel like you are failing, you’re not a machine, you can’t do the same amount of work everyday, some days will be fantastic, and others will feel like your slowed down, this is all part of healing and let it happen, by recognizing you are in pain, you can begin to treat the injury, your mental state is not that dissimilar to muscles, if you hurt it, ignore it and continue to use it, it will get worse until you cannot use it at all, but if you accept that it is damaged, you can treat it and gradually build it up to its former strength.

As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don’t try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break.
— Julia Butterfly Hill

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
— Author Unknown

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